My natural state, coming into my physical form/manifestation, was total self love, whole acceptance; I naturally viewed myself as perfect - now, and now, and now. Life over my years has conditioned me to weave myself in layers, veils, buffers, barriers, defenses, to hide - not only from other eyes, but from my own.
All that extra weight - for what? All that suffocating, tangled-up and too-hot drapery - why? I want to feel good - and none of this makes me feel good anymore. I choose not to hide, not in any way, not for or from anyone or anything, and especially not from myself.
Skinny dipping is way more fun - sorta sassy, sorta risqué, definitely a new twist on the old self-view. This orange-blue-purple light, soft and sultry, looks so good on me, I must say. I feel both safe (private) and completely focused beyond my familiar zone (exposed). And hey, you know what? I don't need soft light and shadows - I'm beautiful! I make the light & the air & the breezes & the waves look better than they ever have. My curves, my scars, my blemishes, my incredible eyes, my growing-out hair, my long legs, my moles, my crepe-y underarm wave-backs ... stunning! There's no criticism in any of that - it's adoration. It's admiration and amazed/amazing love! I mean, to bring me all out into the light, any light, and peruse myself with loving eyes, to see perfection in everything as it is?! I'm remembering what 'natural' truly means, where my SELF is concerned.
I thought it was dusk in my mind -- it's actually dawn. Dawning.