I call Time Out On That. Permanent Time Out.
To effect my own well-being demands, to maintain and expand my own ease and alignment necessitate, leaving other people's issues alone - especially other people's issues of the negative, issues of the pissy, issues of confusion, issues of the re-hashing-to-death of issues, issues of discussing the negative, pissy, confused re-hash.
In order to be of any value to anyone (beginning with & especially myself), I need to feel good, to stay aligned. I have nothing to offer if I allow my own well-being to be cross-pollinated with issues having nothing to do with me, even if my intentions are sincere.
These other people have inner beings of their own; they're creating the design of their own lives; they are making their own choices.
Two of the main resonating pieces of advice I've received from the Abraham-Hicks Law of Attraction (LOA) books are:
1. Nothing or no one is broken; nothing and no one need to be fixed. [Everyone and everything is in its/their own right place at the right time, right NOW. and now. and now. and now - according to its/their own creation/design/choice/alignment.]
2. There's nothing serious going on here. [Our natural state is joy, well-being - we individually load that down with resistance, but when we let resistance go, we flow/float right back up to that natural high state. Feeling good isn't serious - it's natural. The example always used in the LOA books , and which I ADORE, is of a cork: you can hold a cork down (resistance) - sure you can, but as soon as you let it go (resistance), it pops right back up to that high place.]
A co-worker who is also a friend I cherish has been going through some contrast - which she would define as 'serious shite'. I've stayed the course with her, trying along the way (with various degrees of success) not to cross-pollinate, not to mix her pessimism, frustration, or anger with my ease, alignment, and well-being.
I've been ... trying to have a foot in both places. AHA. Balanced empathy? ... or something like that. I'm sure there's a way to effect that, from a place of alignment, because sometimes I've hit that mark. But mainly, I end up falling off my High Place and smacking head-first into talking about it (from her perspective).
Repeat: neither she, nor the situation, is broken or needs to be fixed. She has the option of choosing to see what she wants to see, noticing the contrast and saying to herself, 'I prefer ______' and therefore deliberately creating something different. She's not choosing that; she's choosing to fly low. Her choice. Always her choice.
I have the option of staying my own course: GOAL, MY ONE AND ONLY GOAL: TO FEEL GOOD. Well-being. Alignment. And I'm not willing to sacrifice that to try to help someone else feel good, when she can do that for herself. I choose, and will ever choose, my own well-being first.
Point: mind my own business. My OWN business. Trust she's handling hers, and wish her love, see her at her best, believe in her in her highest expansion ... otherwise, I repeat: MIND MY OWN BUSINESS. And begin to understand/believe this is the highest offering of love I can give her. She's not broken; she doesn't need fixing; she doesn't need my counsel, my efforts to cheer her up, my sending of meaningful positive quotes. I repeat: she's got her own Inner Being (and her own non-physical, Universal posse) focusing on her at all times. She doesn't need me at all, despite all the social conditioning she's internalized that tell her she does.
I let go. I let it go to my own flow, my own ease and joy, my own bubbly, polka-dot internal laughing and play. I give up. I give her up to her own management. Guilt-free release so I can float, bob, leap, jump, love, laugh, delight, appreciate, and FLY HIGH.
Note: an hour after posting this, I saw the below Abraham quote on Pinterest - very clarifying! I see there is more opportunity for me to learn/expand, and to resolve and dissolve some old activated vibrations that are drawing these conversations to me:
'You are the creator of what comes out of everyone's mouth
you set the vibrational tone that evokes it.'